I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
