And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
