the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
