She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
