my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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