Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
