He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
