You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
