I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
