They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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