oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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