U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
