margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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