Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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