I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Every concussion has its silver lining
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
