did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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