we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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