The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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