Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
