idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
