Having a random hookup so left but love u
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
