I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
