i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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