Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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