i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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