I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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