marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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