Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
