Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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