garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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