I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
