i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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