i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Two words: blizzard sex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
