2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this just has baby written all over it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
