I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
birth control should be required to get into college
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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