you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
