:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
