i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
