Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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