3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
