you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
