McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
