she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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