i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
