And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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