so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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