my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
