Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
