No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
