so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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