Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
